Dear A---

I apologize for my cruel Lotharioness. I had a busy day yesterday, actually spent a lot of time with R--... we had coffee together in the morning as usual, read the paper and stuff online. Then I walked the dog and came home and worked out. I've only been working out intermittently, but I am already seeing some slight progress in terms of weight and/or reps. Now I just need to get on the "juice" and I'll be buff in no time, just like Jason Giambi... Then we watched a movie ("50 First Dates" with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. It was fun and a bit silly and romantic; we both enjoyed it - we both thought Drew had nice tits, especially whe she is standing out in the rain in a white shirt).

John and I are going to see a Pirates game this afternoon.

Talk to you later,
B---

Hi B---

I forgive you for your cruel and wanton behavior. But how dare you drink coffee, walk a dog, or watch movies, or-- this one hurt the most-- have "thoughts" about Drew Barrymore's bosom? I am crushed, defeated, and will have to comfort myself with some amateur quinoa (you didn't tell me if you knew it was pronounced keen-wa).

What is a Pirates game? Is it similar to those medieval reconstructions where people are served slabs of meat, wipe their hands on furry dogs, and watch knights joust? Does it take place near the water and involve large ships, cannons, booty, and piratespeak?

This is the "firefighter's workout" that you're doing, correct? In which case you should be drawing the ladies to you in no time; remember L--- (the one who coupled with the strangler)? She did it with a firefighter last night. Or, as she put it, "I got me a piece of firefighter ass."

See ya and have fun today!
A---