I brought all three children to shul today, and at the kids' service they played a variation of Bingo, where they had to match synagogue acouterments instead of numbers. Mr. Crazy started sobbing when he sensed he would not win. He was utterly overwhelmed by the crowd of kids, who were screaming, fighting, running around and otherwise acting like maniacs. Mr. Crazy is used to this on a two child scale, himself and his sister, and he has no sense of this group dynamic and didn't know what to think. He also had a hard time understanding the teacher, because he doesn't always understand everything that's said to him, and there was the constant shriek of unruly kids. So he sobbed and sobbed, and I would try to coax him back to the group. He won second prize at Bingo, and when they reached the "Bingo" point they had to shout "SYNAGOGUE!!!" Then they got chocolate.

The Prophet of Doom, who witnessed all this with an unimpressed expression, later told me it was blatant brainwashing and reminded him of Castro's instructional game, where children were asked, "Who gives you candy? God or Castro?" If the kids said "Castro," they got candy; if they said "God," they got nothing.

The grouchy old Israeli guy broke into a sunny smile when he crossed paths with Glamor Girl, who looked achingly cute in her fancy dress and braids. He patted her head and wished her a happy new year in Hebrew.

We had to leave early, because the Prophet could not bear any more of the service. He attends the shul twice a year to help me with kid control. So I missed tashlich, when I could have emptied my sins into the ocean, or at least the man-made lake at the local park.